so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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