I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
