dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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