I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck appropriateness.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
