Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
