We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
