I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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