U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
