Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
