Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i think my cat just said my name.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
