so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think i have herpe
just one?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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