There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
