I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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