I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
