You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
