that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
