That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
