i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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