I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
