I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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