I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
