people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
