A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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