they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
