That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
