What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
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I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize