Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
