that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
