dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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