sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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