I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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