so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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