You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
