Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
