Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
