Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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