clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
