I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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