So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize