somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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