office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
