you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How external is "for external use only"?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
