the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
