Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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