Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
