trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
