you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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