Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize