yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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