I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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