HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
