new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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