Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
