Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
