Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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