what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
