I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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