Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
