suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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