guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
