he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize