i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
